


Force of Light

by politicalmamaduck



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Force Ghost Padmé Amidala, Force Ghost Yoda - Freeform, Force Ghosts, it was all a dream, what we do in the snow, wookiee life day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9039749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politicalmamaduck/pseuds/politicalmamaduck
Summary: After celebrating the end of the war and Wookiee Life Day on the Resistance base, Rey heads out into the snow to meditate. Kylo Ren goes out after her...and learns the true reason for the season.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dietplainlite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dietplainlite/gifts).



> Prompt: What we do in the snow. Written for Pickolilly's fandom scarves contest!

Rey had never seen snow before the incident on Starkiller Base. She had often dreamed of snow on Jakku, usually on the worst days when thinking of her lost family brought only tears to her eyes rather than solace. She had imagined its texture, its feel—the relief it would bring to those sweltering and suffering in the desert. Her first experience with snow had been less than pleasant and wrapped up in the emotional turmoil of the battle and the loss of Han Solo.

When winter and then snow finally came to the Resistance base, she couldn’t believe it. The war was recently over; everyone had been in a celebratory, jubilant mood for the past few weeks. They had drank all day and all night when the news came through that General Hux had finally verbally surrendered to General Organa and that the diplomatic teams could begin negotiating the peace settlement on the morrow. A few days later, the base celebrated Wookiee Life Day, with gigantic hugs from Chewbacca and mugs of a strong brew made from the orga root. _This is what we do in the snow_ , he told her. _We honor the lives of those who have gone before us and become one with the Tree of Life_. Rey clasped his hand gratefully, knowing he could understand exactly how she was feeling at that moment.

Everything was perfect, save for the miserable, hulking First Order defector who sulked around the base, stomping his black boots and cape through the white snow. The Resistance informant formerly known as Kylo Ren was a shadow of his former self, one that skittishly haunted the corners of the base and barely spoke to anyone. Something about his unsmiling visage lingered at the back of Rey’s mind, tingling at the corners of her Force sensitivity. She tried not to think about him--what he had done, what he had been through, anything--but at night she had dreams of endlessly walking through the halls of the base, always alone, always exhausted, always seeing the world through his eyes.

She was decidedly not thinking about Kylo Ren when she left the warmth of the base to trudge through the thigh-high snow the next day and sought a quiet spot for meditation. With all the hubbub and activity of the base, she couldn’t concentrate the way she wanted to, and she hadn’t been sleeping well. Master Luke was supposed to return to the base now that the war was over, and she wanted her skills to be honed for his return.  

Rey found a spot on the ridge overlooking the base, quite and peaceful. The sun was shining down and reflecting off the snow, making the world crisp and white around her. It was blinding in a similar, yet completely different way to the sun and sand on Jakku. Taking a moment to reflect on her past and how far she’d come in the past few years, Rey centered herself in the Force. Sinking down into the snow, she crossed her legs and closed her eyes, sinking into a deep meditation. She scarcely noticed the cold, so intent was she upon her task. _I am one with the Force; the Force is with me_ , she thought, stretching out her senses and becoming one with the living Force.

...

Three hours later, Poe was working on his X-Wing in the hangar when Finn popped by to say hello. “Do you have dinner plans tonight? I was thinking we could make some tamales…” BB-8 started whistling shrilly, followed by frantic beeps. “Whoa, hold on there, buddy. Rey? No, I haven’t seen her since breakfast. She said she had things she needed to do today. What about you, Finn? Have you seen her?”

“No, I haven’t seen her since breakfast either. I thought she was doing some Jedi training exercises today. She’s supposed to spar with me tomorrow.”

“Well, BB says no one’s seen her and no one knows where she is. Chewie went to go ask her to work on the Falcon before tonight’s storytelling and couldn’t find her.”

“Let’s go see if we can find her. Maybe General Organa asked her to do something.”

Poe pulled his arms out of his ship’s engine and hastily cleaned up, BB-8 trailing behind in close pursuit.

They hurried to the General’s office, blurting out their concerns for Rey all at once.

“No, I haven’t seen Rey today,” General Organa said, shaking her head. “I figured she could use a day off, she’s been so busy helping out and training lately.”

“I wonder where she could be. It’s not like her to just disappear without telling anyone,” Finn said, pacing up and down the General’s small office. He stopped suddenly when the black-clad figure of Kylo Ren appeared in the doorway.

“Oh--hello,” he said, stopping suddenly upon seeing the crowd in the office. “I’ll come back later,” he said, haltingly. “No, no, please come in,” said the General, gesturing at a haphazard chair in front of her desk. “Have you seen Rey today? No one seems to know where she is.”

“I saw her headed toward the north entrance a few hours ago,” he said softly. “I’ll go look for her,” he mumbled as he quickly turned his back and hurried away from his mother’s office.

Poe opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought the better of it and put his hand over his mouth. “We’ll go have a look too, General,” said Finn. “She can’t have gone too far.”

...

Kylo Ren stomped off into the snow. He would not, could not admit it, but he cared deeply about the fierce young woman who had taken so well to his uncle’s training. He did not envy her, for the life of a Jedi was not suited to all, and certainly not himself. His feelings for her he could neither admit nor deny, but much like his emotions other than anger or pain over the past ten years, he pushed down deep inside himself and refused to examine them. He scowled at the blast of cold air and snow hitting his face as he exited the Resistance base. He no longer had to bear a monitor about his body, but his movements were still heavily restricted, despite the vital information he had turned over to the Resistance regarding the First Order’s troop movements, capabilities, and resources. The white winter light was almost blinding as he stepped farther away from the base. He couldn’t help but wonder if Rey would even realize how dangerous such low temperatures could be after coming from the heat and grit of Jakku. _She’s so intelligent and strong and capable. Surely she’s fine_ , he told himself, then immediately cursed himself for reflecting on her finer qualities.

Once he had put quite a few meters of space between himself and the base, he reached out into the Force, seeking Rey’s familiar and distinctive Force signature. It was a warm, welcoming feeling, an aura colored in shades of brown, beige, and yellow. He was always dimly aware of her presence, always seeking to push it down and out of his consciousness, not to reach out to it. But now he embraced it as he wished to embrace her, hoping to find her presence as vibrant and strong as he knew her to be.

He could feel a slight pulsation at his heart, registering that her signature was not as strong as it ought to have been. He took in a deep breath, registering that his blood was thrumming with adrenaline and his pupils had dilated. He set out toward a large ridge overlooking the base, knowing she wouldn’t be far from there, and hoping that she would be all right when he did find her.

It didn’t take him long to reach the ridge despite the thick snow he was trudging through and the howling wind swirling around him. He had become accustomed to the cold and the snow during the creation and development of Starkiller Base. He had never truly supported the monstrosity, but his objections had, as always, been overruled. It was not long after its destruction and his continued abusive training by the Supreme Leader that a broken, dejected, hollow shell of the man known as Kylo Ren snuck aboard a First Order shuttle and collapsed in the Resistance hangar, leaking blood through his robes. He had awoken chained to a Resistance hospital bed, wrapped in bacta patches and thick bandage strips about his middle. Those wounds had healed, leaving faint scars, but the spiritual and metaphysical wounds he bore had not yet begun to stitch themselves back together. There were so many of them he refused to probe, to even consider to allow himself to heal. The winter weather perfectly matched the unforgiving visage he had cultivated for himself.

He stalked through the snow, intent on finding the one beacon of light he allowed himself to appreciate.

He found her, enveloped in a huge fur coat, deeply within the throes of meditation verging on a Force coma. He found himself not wanting to disturb her, admiring her ability to become one with the living Force, something he could never do no matter how hard he tried.

He tried to gently reach out to her in the Force, not wishing to step closer or startle her.

_Rey._

_Rey, are you all right? Everyone back at the base is looking for you. The temperature is rapidly dropping_ _._ _You should come back inside soon._

Speaking to her, even in this manner, felt incredibly foreign and awkward. He was ashamed of his lack of loquacity, the inelegant edge of his diction. As a child he had had a way with words, but as an adult his actions had done the talking for him, nor had he ever had the occasion or need to seduce anyone with words.

He involuntarily took a step backward, edging away from her in case she found his presence less than appealing when she emerged from her meditative state. He didn’t see a rock buried in the snow and ice behind him, and with his long robes soaked with the snow, his feet were much clumsier than usual. He stumbled backward and, taken by surprise, was unable to correct his body as he tumbled downward.

The world was white with snow and ice spinning around him, welcoming him to its cold embrace. The white gave way to black, closing over and around him. Kylo Ren closed his eyes as the blood rushed to his head and his legs ceased to function.

The world continued to spin behind his closed eyes, the inky void reaching out to meet him. It was warmer now, and the stars twinkled, as if winking at him. _Come to me_ , each of them seemed to say. _There’s so many worlds you have yet to visit. Come seek out my treasures and rich bounty._

_Ben Solo, my lost wayward child. Where have you been?_ A soft, strong, feminine voice spoke from the stars. He could not see the speaker, but he knew she was beautiful and familiar. He had spoken with her before, in a dream, in memories he shouldn’t have had. Her presence was reminiscent of water lapping at the shore, of a bright summer sunshine in a flower-strewn field.

Her touch was light and gentle as she caressed his cheek. _Ben, you must not allow yourself to become so brittle and cold_. _This is not you, what you have allowed yourself to become. You knew it was not too late when you escaped your dark fate. Do not allow it to continue to envelope you, to enchain your heart. You are a child of the spring, who loves a woman made of summer. You must open your heart to the light._

_I will try,_ he promised, reaching out toward that presence he knew so well yet could not explain.

All of a sudden, another presence, one with which he was not familiar, came into his awareness.

_No,_ it said, old but not brittle, bowed with age but not broken. The presence was immensely strong in the Force.

_Do, or do not. There is no try_ , the presence said. Ben somehow glimpsed an image of a small green being with a stick, tapping on the ground behind a tall, young, blond human through the stars.

_I will_ , he said, and the stars faded away around him. He was falling again, falling slowly, and he couldn’t stop the overwhelming sensations, the presences filling him with the enormity of the Force.

He awoke in a sunlit room, the sounds of gentle water lapping and birds crying out coming from an open window nearby. It was peaceful unlike anywhere he had ever been before.

He slowly realized that he was not alone in the bed--the angular, lithe form of Rey was curled into him, breathing evenly and sound asleep. The sunlit haze glowed off of her skin, making her seem more vibrant and alive than anything else in his early morning dreamlike state.

While he was pondering where in the galaxy they could be, and how he had awoken entwined with Rey, she awoke and smiled up at him, then pulled him down for a kiss. He would have been shocked had it not been so easy, felt so natural. It seemed that their bodies fit together perfectly, that they had a knowledge of each other that could not be put to words.

Her long, dark hair was silk in his hands. He buried his head in the back of her neck, breathing her scent in deeply and letting the sensations wash through him. It had been so long since he had been with anyone, so long since he was allowed to be himself. The emotions he had kept locked away for so long welled to the surface, enveloping him in the omniscience of the Force. For so long he had only tapped into the darkest urges, pushing that which was light--love, relief, laughter--down into the recesses of himself that he could not, would not examine. He reached outward for the light, reached into the sun streaming down upon him. It bathed him, enveloped him, reached in him and turned him inside out, baring his soul for all Force sensitives to see.

Ben Solo awoke in a hospital bed in the Resistance base.

Rey was sitting by his side, stroking his hand. His mother, standing over him, stroked his hair. Finn and Poe were standing shoulder to shoulder at the edge of the room, in a way that suggested intimate touch even though they weren’t.

He found at first that he couldn’t say anything, but then he realized he didn’t need to.

“I had the most wonderful dream,” he said. “You were there, except that you were different.”

Rey smiled, and squeezed his hand affectionately. “Thank you for coming out there after me,” she said, looking down.

“It’s what you do in the snow,” he replied.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive feedback always appreciated! Much love and gratitude as always to my best friend Amanda for her beta work.


End file.
